


Amaiyume

by QueenOfTheNerdlords



Category: Samurai Jack (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Canon-Typical Violence, Dreams and Nightmares, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, LITERALLY, M/M, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, Memory Magic, Mind Manipulation, Past Relationship(s), Post-Canon, Post-Season/Series 05 Finale, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Tragedy, also inspired by Venom, hey remember junji ito's Long Dream story, yeah that kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-26
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:31:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22904737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfTheNerdlords/pseuds/QueenOfTheNerdlords
Summary: Jack can’t figure out what these strange dreams mean or who this mysterious person is that comes with them. He only recalls a sense of hollowness and an unbearable feeling of shame after he awakes from them.
Relationships: Aku/Samurai Jack, Ashi/Samurai Jack (Past)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 24





	Amaiyume

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AbbySomething](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbbySomething/gifts).



_He dared not to sleep._

Sleep was necessary, yes that was true. It resets your mind for the day ahead of you, it gives you an energy you cannot replicate, it is necessary for survival, for every living thing on the planet, and those far beyond the stars.

But sleep, for Jack, meant something else entirely.

For the past few days, he had been dreaming of a _man_.

He didn't know his name, nor the outline of their face, nor even the sound of his voice once he awoke, but with every dream, he knew there would be loving embraces, tender kisses, warm words of endearment, and a heat pooling in his gut that only one other person had awoken in him, and also some form of betrayal towards...

_Her._

He should be dreaming of her, _Ashi_.

The one person he had fallen in love with, the one person who had pledged her life to him years ago, only for it to fade into dust and disappear.

But for some reason, he could not recall what she looked like.

_What was her favorite food, again?_

_What shade of brown were her eyes?_

**_What did her voice sound like?_ **

These were all questions he could no longer answer.

However, he knew much about the man.

They liked to spar, often favoring a particular **~~(familiar)~~** bokken sword. He loved stuffed-crust pizza, served extra thick, with extra cheese and sauce to make it all the better. He was large, towering over him by quite a bit, but would make efforts to appear smaller. They had trouble building or creating things, and often required Jack to step in and help. They spoke oddly, as if they were not familiar to any Earthly language, always in a soft tone, _always, **always**_ remorseful.

_He was going insane._

He was _finally_ losing his mind, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

And most shamefully of all, is that he _enjoyed_ them.

The dreams, this man and his company, all of it made him feel so deliciously satisfied in his slumber. Jack honestly could not remember how long it had been since he had felt so complete. It was so addictive, the joy these dreams brought.

Which is why it terrified him to the core.

Before, he could never understand the appeal of recreational drugs, or even the desire that came around most addictions such as, gambling, risking your life, intercourse, just to name a few. Yes, he could see the appeal in indulging in some of these activities, some occasionally, others never, but couldn't emotionally relate to the pull, the want, the sheer _need_ associated with them. 

These dreams wrapped him delicately in a shroud of pleasure, and refused to let him go. They came like a warm shroud of fog and enveloped him into their depths. Sometimes he remembers being in them for days, weeks, years at a time. But after waking up, it was all a distant memory that he couldn't fully recall. Bits and pieces came to mind, but never anything too tangible.

As of late, he had been avoiding sleep for a couple of days. It was hindering not only his life, but the lives of those he had to oversee, as well as needlessly worrying his already grief-stricken parents. 

_He could not take this any longer._

Something must be done, he had to fight against it finally.

If he could not get rid of these delusions, he would soon cease to be.

* * *

In the dark hours of the night, Jack laid himself upon his bed.

He had a very long day, not only pondering his mental malady, but completing various paperwork, discussing new laws and old that needed revision, overseeing issues raised by nobles and commoners alike, passing judgement over the harshest of criminals... the sheer amount of tasks never ended. The soft, silk, sheets and the warm, thick, covers were welcomed, but the mission he had to complete seemed impossible. Regardless of his thoughts however, he had to try.

He bundled up, let out a long-winded sigh, and closed his eyes, dreading the night to come.

Despite his heart rapidly beating, he felt the familiar pull of fatigue drag him back into the dreamscape he was now familiar with.

The sky stretched out in pinks, blues, and reds, but there was nothing beyond the horizon. At his feet was soft, flowy, grass, flowering with strange dandelions of all colors. 

And in front of him, stood a figure.

Tall, warm, and familiar.

The shape was intangible but he knew, he just _knew_ , this person was someone he had met before.

A long arm reached out to stroke his cheek, his hand rough and inhuman, yet gentle to the touch.

**"Y̤͇̰͘ọu̟̟̝'̦͕v͉e̲̪ͅ c̘̻͟o̥̲̹m̲̠̯e ̧ṯ̪o ͕m̛e̫̩͕et me ̰͕a͞gain̨̖͕.̖̣ͅ ̳I̻t has ̶̪̮̙b͓̥͔e҉͍̙͚en̛ ͈͕t͎oo̖̖ͅ ͇ḽ̠͇o͙ng."**

The words were distorted and confused, unlike anything Jack could comprehend, but he could still hear a strong and masculine tone, their words filled with tenderness and love.

Jack flinched at the touch, but found himself unable to move. 

It was so nice, to be touched again like that, by a lover.

_But it shouldn't be this stranger, Ashi should be-_

Before Jack could finish his thought, the figure reached around behind him and caressed his back.

**"Y͉͙͈͢ou̴ ͡s̰ͅe̢̱e̡͚͎m̖͚͞ͅ..͢.̼ ͍̥̹T͓en̹̝͝se͠.̰ ̼̰̫I͘s ̘͈͟s̯̻͎o̟̠m̫̗e͢t͙̫h̝͉̱i̮̹̬n͠g̤̝̥ ̡̟tr̶͎͍̲o͜ub̦̺͙l̲̼ị̟̕n͕̤̜g̕ ͓̕y͎ou̷?̜̹̞"**

He felt paralyzed, sweat beading down his face, unable to comprehend his feelings or even put them into words.

 **"C̸o̫me ̗̜͘n̥o҉̺̙w͝,̤͖͔ ͔̲͍yo̡u̼ͅ ͟d͟o ̬͙̫n̺̯͖o̲͜t̸ ̺̖ne̜̟̺e͉̟̺d to ̩͈̻͡h͏i̼̟̺de ̵͎̫̩a͈̦w̘͎̻̕ay͙ ̪y̩o̦̖̕uṟ͖ ̡͔̣̤f͚ͅͅe̘̝̲eli͙͇n̙̱͚g͝s̥̪͕͟ ̛li͢ke̟̣̼ ̢̹ş̹̙o͖̘m̬e ͖ͅd͔͕̥evou̖t̢͚̘̻ s̥̰o̵̘̩͕l̯͓̗die̗̱͙r̤͚. ̢"** The man cooed, moving closer to Jack. **"Y͠o̤̭̳u̴ ͔̝̳d̠͚̮͟o̩͖͙ ̼̙̮n̺͈̤o̟t n̹̬e̢e̫̜̼d͍͈̮ ț̰̕o̲̫͉ ̧̥̰̲r̷̞͕ͅes̠̠ṭŗ͍̱̯a̛iṉ̱ ̣yo͓̼u͍rsȩlf̬͎͈ h̖̞̱er̞͇̜e̖͖̩.͈̪͕ Y͚o̶u̳̩͝ m̫a̴y̰̟̞ ͢h̜͍̻a̶̹̮̯vẹ͎ ̤͔͞some f̤a̱it̲̳h ͢i͘n͈̱ ͘me."**

 _Faith_? How _laughable_.

He didn't even know who this man was.

The figure seemed to think for a while, seemingly unsure of what to think of his silence, before speaking up.

**"A̴h. I̫ ҉͎ͅt̨h̟̻iņ̝̰k ̛̗̩I k̬n̤͕o̶w͘ wha͖͜t̡̞̫ ͈̱į̩̮s҉͙͔̭ ̳̣a̞i҉̘̪̱l̪in̡̩̖g̙ ͓̟̦y̥͍̰͠o̩̭u̥̻̫. ̘͓Y͇̭͉o̥u'͜ve̫͘ ̻̭̲just̡ ̯͙b̢ee̪͎̗n͡ ̡a̧̝̼̬w̨a̰y ̯̪͖f̶̲̮rǫ͖m ͢m̫̥y ̮s̸i͞d̺̖͘e ̜fo͘r̼ f͉a̧r̘̤̟ t̷͚ơơ͍͎̝ l̘on͙g.̷͇̭ Y͘e̟̲̦s̨,̢̱̣̗ ̘͖̙that̳̱͖ ̤̟m͎ust ͎̥͎͝bḛ̳ ̨͓̻t̢h̷e͙͚ p̲̱r̵ob̺̺̰l҉em̼ ͜a͘t҉ ̻̳h̹and͢..."**

The figure seemingly snaked around his body, covering him in a familiar, firm, warmth. The man, _no_ , **_monster_** took Jack's cheeks into his large hands, and leaned in closer.

Before Jack knew it, he was being kissed.

As soon as the shock wore off, Jack used all of his energy to try and shove this **demon** off of him! Instead, to his horror, he found that the being got sliced into two. 

In his hand, was his sword.

_No._

_No, this wasn't what he wanted, **no**...!_

The figure recoiled in shock, in pain and confusion, letting out a sharp cry.

**"Ja̶̠̰̦c̺̟k͉͎.̡̰.̩.̲̝ ̥̖w ̷h̸ ̗̠͎y̫̩ͅ?̛̖ ̵"**

In the midst of his panic, he dropped the sword and stumbled backwards. The sword disappeared into the grass, which quickly materialized into black sand. The sky around him warped an ugly, dark, red. Storm clouds billowed and clogged up the horizon.

_He didn't mean to..._

**_He didn't mean...!_ **

_He could see Ashi's sisters in this person's place, broken and red, mangled and reduced to a corpse, it was his fault, h **is fault, why did she ever forgive him for-**_

He couldn't breathe.

_How could he have-_

The figure re-attached the severed part of him, seemingly more emotionally hurt by his attack than physically. Jack wanted to scream from shock, but fear and guilt kept him silent. The creature seemed to recover, and luckily, had the good sense to stay away.

 **"I ͡d͈̜͕o̶͍ͅ not̕ u͞n̵de͜r͞-̕"** It rasped. **"I͎͚͉ ̢d̫o͜ n͓̬o̹̦̜t ͝u͘n̗̹̹̕d͍̭͓e̢r̛s̘̜͕t̨̬̟̩a̙̠͙n̫̩d.͎͓"**

Jack felt tears involuntarily pool from his eyes. This thing was trying to mess with his mind, it plagued his thoughts, it warped his memories, why did he feel so _guilty_?

" _I don't understand_!" Jack yelled, his voice wavering. "Why do you come into my dreams and tempt me so? Why do you alter my mind with these fabricated memories? Why can I not remember your face? Why do you insist on replacing the one I truly love?"

Tears dripped down his face, but anger replaced the guilt quite quickly. He could not take these manipulations, these delusions, this fake, sickly, sweet reality.

 _"Who are you?!"_ Jack roared.

The figure froze. 

The sky vanished into black.

There was nothing but void surrounding them both.

**"Y͔̜ou͚̮.̛̩̳.. ̷y͔o̱̜u͍ͅ ̞̭͜tr̻ṵ̗l͇͘y ̘d̼͕̱o̦̣̗ ̜n̩͔̼o͏̥̥t̙͓͉ ̛r̘em̶e͢mb̧ȩ̪̳̖r̭?͞"**

The figure moved closer, observing Jack closely with eyes he couldn't see.

 **"Y̦̞o̠̠̱u̷͍ h̺̖̭a͇̲ṿ͖ͅe̹̺͡ ̧̣b̪ee҉̥͖̥n ̧neg̶̝l̶̬ȩc͔̳̮t͔̖͕i̢ng͞ your ҉s͟l͈͖͔e͓̰ep.̡"** The thing observed. **"Y͠ou ̰͔̟h̹̤av̼̞e̲̜͇ be͙̲͔e̶n a͎̞v͞o͞idi̘ͅng͚̼̠͠ ̢m̼e."**

Jack couldn't calm himself, he felt nothing but panic and anger, wanting to lash out at the mysterious being.

The next thing it said, however, shocked him.

**"Y̷̬̬o͢u̘͓̼ c̩͟an̮͙̪n͉̗o̻ṱ̲ ̟̰r̠̪e͔̤mem̵be͙r̷̜ ͚what̹ ̤y̙̙ou͚̯̖̕ ar̦e͝ ̰t̩͜o mẹ.͞ Yo͍̫̥u̙ a̲̲̤͟re͇̱̕ ̥̪in p̸aįn͖͖͔,̫ ̵̺̗̻b̴ͅe̤c̷a̩̗u̗s͇e̜̮̰ o҉̺ͅf͎͎ ͠me.̗͇"**

The creature let out a bitter laugh at this.

**"I̳̪̗ ̡w̢̯o̳͈͢u̲̥̺͡l̳̤d ̹̱̹h̺ave͡ ̥d̷es̟͎i̧r͖ed ͟t̢͔ha̛̺t,̛̪ s̙̩͈o̘ͅ v̸ͅery̮ ̧̦l̡͙͎̲o̦̝ṇ͈g̸ ̱̫a̗͕g̨o̱.̷"**

The inky black of the void overwhelmed Jack, but the intense emotions of this being were so much more turbulent. He felt nausea, at what he had done, no matter how much he tried to justify it.

" _Please..._ " Jack begged, confused and terrified by everything going on around him. " _Please, tell me who you are._ "

**"Ị̢ h̬͘a͍̜v͘e͇̣ ̡̰̟be̝ͅen̮ ̩͚͙so͓̻̤ ͏̖ͅl̷o̗̞͙n̢͙̣e̗͕̯l̯͢y."**

Jack tensed.

"That does not answer my question." He said sharply, trying to keep his shaking legs from giving out from under him.

 **"F̟͈̪o͉̫̯r̙̹ ̣̲̘s̬o ̕v͢er͢y ̥̘lo̰n̬̟͕g̮,͎͈ ͚I͓̟̗͜ ̜h͝a̧̬̗̣d͍͚ w̮i̧̫̥s͡he͓͓͙͞d fo͏r ̞d̤͖ea̟̬t͝h, ͙wa҉iting̠ ͟f̺̥͎or̮̠ ̯͕s̙̤̳o͉̟m͏͕e͘ţh͢i̳ṋg ͝ot̢h͕̳̠er than̝ t̷̻̳͖h͜i̻s̻̙ ̻c͚̟̱a̺̹͘ͅg̣̩̠͡e̻͟."** The figure distorted into odd shapes, seeming to pool around Jack and the surroundings. **"I ̵̬͔ha̷̘̜̰d ͖͚ha͕̗t̵e̖̯͔d͔ y̞o͓̜̙u̧̺̲ ҉̘̺̺fo̪͇̯r͏͖̥͓ s̕o̞̳͍͜ ̥v̶̱͔̦e̮̹͘r̸y ̜̙̲͜lo̺ng͢ͅ,̨͉ ̬̩̼bu̹t ̳you ̞͇w̦̙͜ere͡ ̱̥t̞̘̱h̙̟ͅe̸͓͉͉ ͘o̮n̝ly ̰t̶̝̪h͕̙i̳n̵͙͕g k͘ee͇p̝i̴n̞͜g̹ ̛me̹ ̪̬wh̶o͘l͚̩e̼͝."**

Jack went into a defensive position, his mind racing.

**"I̧ ̯̩had ̲̙j̩͠u̟̹st̸̯̝̱ wante̮d i̜t ͠a̺̭͓l͝l͍͔̘ ̸̱͈b͉a͇̦c̴k̥͞.̡̩̯ͅ"**

" _Stop playing games._ " Jack hissed, a stream of white materializing at his side.

**"I̲̲̳ ̲̮͞on̡̜̪l̷̪y w̤a̟n͈t͘e̤͓ͅd t͔͔o͉ ̸͙͇sp̢͍e̗͍̺a̗̺͍k͞ ͙̘̙w͍̞i̛̲t͔̻h ͍̤y̱o͍̙u̶̺͙.͎̭͖"**

At Jack's side was the sword again. Some part of him was screaming to let this go, to try to talk, but fear gripped his mind like a vice, and he brandished it towards the figure.

**"P̶͈̘̙ḷe̴͓͎as̴e҉ ̞̲̖d̵͍͙̫o n̙̻̺ot̩͈ ͞l͈ea̳v̵e̳̤ ̙͠m̗e̞.̪"**

The figure began to split, surrounding Jack on all sides, covering the sky in black.

"TELL ME WHO YOU ARE."

The figure lunged at him, claws out, their warmth blazing like it had never before. Jack lunged at the figure screaming, ready to tear it apart if only it would just _leave him-_

Its arms gently wrapped around Jack, holding him closely and intimately, just like he usually did, his sword buried into its chest.

The figure- no, he could see it now, for what it truly was.

Aku.

Aku was holding him closely, breathing heavily, creaking in a way Jack had rarely heard. He looked weak, shaken, _guilty_.

 _ **"I am sorry, my Samurai."**_ Aku rasped, his whole body trembling. _**"I am grateful for the years we have been together, despite my deception. I did not mean for this to happen. I did not want this to happen."**_

Jack couldn't move.

He couldn't think. 

His entire body was frozen in shock.

**_"I am selfish. So selfish. I could not let you go."_ **

Jack's hand went limp, and the sword fell to the ground, shattering into glass.

**"If you can remember me, I hope then, we can be together for an eternity."**

The sky melted into a blur, in a rush, his memories, real and fake, came back to him. 

_No, no, no..._

_How could he have done this to his Beloved?_

_How could his beloved all this time have been Aku?!_

**"Despite how long I have been trapped here, in your mind, body, and soul... I am glad I did not die. It was worth having your love."**

Jack awoke in a cold sweat, screaming.

_His hands were trembling, his stomach turning, no, he couldn't leave things like this, he had to go back...! All those years of grieving, fighting, devotion and-_

_No..._

**_He remembered now._ **

Ashi had only disappeared a week ago.


End file.
